Chili con Kevin

This past week, Houston hasn't been its usual cheery scorching hot drought inflicted self. The recent deluge we've encountered has not only wreaked havoc on my lengthy commute, but it's also increased our desire to be fully lethargic. Kevin took (in)action this past Sunday and made a slow cooked chili that perfectly complimented our drenched surroundings.


Chili con Kevin
Adapted from All Recipes
Servings: 12
Time: 4+ hours (longer the better)

Sheer laziness almost led me to tell you to figure it out from the pic

2 lbs ground beef chuck
1 lb bulk Italian sausage
3 (15 oz) cans chili beans, drained
1 (15 oz) can chili beans in spicy sauce
2 (28 oz) cans diced tomatoes with juice
1 (6 oz) can tomato paste
1 large yellow onion, chopped
3 stalks celery, chopped
2 green bell peppers, seeded and chopped
2 jalapenos, seeded and chopped
Loads of bacon
1/2 cup beer (we used Saint Arnold's Santo)

Mommy, where does heart disease comes from?

1 tbsp chili powder
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 tbsp minced garlic
1 tbsp dried oregano
2 tsp ground cumin
2 tsp Tabasco
1 tsp dried basil
1 tsp salt
1 tsp ground black pepper
1 tsp cayenne pepper
1 tsp paprika
1 (10.5 oz) bag corn chips ala Fritos
Cheddar Cheese
Green onions, chopped for garnish

It almost looks healthy in its infant state.

1. Brown your ground beef and Italian sausage in a frying pan over medium-high heat. Then cook your bacon. Set aside but reserve the grease.
2. Sauté the onion in the grease. Stop every 2 minutes to hit your heart with a defibrillator. 
3. Now add everything to a crock pot on high (yeah I'm not typing all those ingredients again) and let cook for at least 3 hours. Leave it closed to start so everything warms up then have it open to reduce for the last few hours. The longer you let it cook, the tastier it will be.
4. Serve in bowls and top with corn chips, cheese and green onions.
5. Sincerely regret living in a house filled with guys after a night of eating chili.

Not so much anymore.

As soon as this chili was finished, it immediately put our bowls onto the endangered species list. The abundance of pork filled products gave this a rich meaty flavor, while the Santo provided a hint of nuttiness to the equation. Each bite of a Frito filled with cheese and hearty chili goodness was the perfect way to pass the ultimate lazy Sunday. The only adjustments I can think of making would be to up the heat with either more jalapenos or a serrano and adding some corn for a little extra crunch. If your clogged heart so desires, this also goes great on top of hot dogs for your sporting event watching pleasure.

Dance, Frito minions! Dance!